How do you cope?

 Every day seems like a new challenge to me. I wake up and try and work out what challenges I may face as I have realised that I struggle with change unless change is the norm. That sounds like such a strange thing to say but if I know that things can change at any minute, that there’s consistency in inconsistency then I am able to face the day. I guess that is why I feel comfort in patterns and regularity over the chaos of everyday life. 

There are particular crafts that I find tap into this ethos and I find calm my mind. Crochet, knitting and cross stitch are but a few that spring to mind. All have patterns and counting in common unless of course you go off piste and just see where the creativity takes you. Shape and colour are things I enjoy too. To work out how things will be perceived and to strive for the perfection that is within me. They may not be important to anyone else but to me they are paramount. 

When working on a new design there are many steps that I go through. I have the initial concept which I trial. I may have seen an idea that fits with my branding and it’s a bonus if there is a pattern too although not crucial. I will find the appropriate yarn and hook and strat out with making the first iteration. This often doesn’t quite fit what it is that I have invisioned. The overall look may be missing a certain impact, the colour or size may not be quite right or I just have a gut feeling that I need to keep on trialling. 

I do love to push myself even when it causes me some sort of distress. There are times when I feel that it is worth it. If I am trying out a new technique or a new texture are just two examples. This can often manifest itself as exhaustion where my body just needs to shut off from the world or hyperactivity when I feel that the things I have been trying to work out have gone way beyond expectations. 

Although there are many social situations where I feel uncomfortable due to the way I view the world I do love getting feedback on what I have created. In person feedback is even more special as well. Events are a good example of this. I absolutely love doing them and talking to the people who visit my stall. I dress mostly in black but have bright colour hair. My stall very much reflects this even if the colours are opposite to how I present myself. Most of my makes are very colourful but I do have some that tap into the more goth side of me. I strive to make the very best products that I feel I am capable of and if it doesn’t reach those standards then it doesn’t go out. The week before I plan out what it is I need to take or make and write myself a to do list. By having that certainty through planning I can put the overthinking mind monkeys to one side. 

I am a form believer of giving it a go although when I was doing my degree I definitely had a finished product in mind each time and didn’t trust the process of trial and error in which to get there. I found out I don’t make a good student! I have come to realise that some of the best learning can be done by just doing. Once you have trialled in different ways you can then work out which are the paths that you want to continue down and which ones are the ones you know will lead to a dead end. I am lucky that most of my makes come from very similar pattern paths and it is just a change in hook size, yarn, rows or rounds that make the different products. Other items I need to write the patterns down in my note book so I can refer back to them if I haven’t made them for a while. 

Knowing how you work and your strengths and weaknesses I feel is a real important life skill. One I wish I had realised many, many years ago. I have always realised that I view the world in a different way but couldn’t work out why. I never saw it as a strength either. I am slowly getting there……

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